


Blinded By the Sky

by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Post Season 2, Tumblr Prompt, Yes Really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 22:36:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11587593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticReactions/pseuds/BossToaster
Summary: After season 2, Shiro wakes on the Balmera.





	Blinded By the Sky

**Author's Note:**

> Yup.
> 
> Based on a request originally sent to Headspacedad, who then kindly shuffled it into my inbox. Where it then grew goddamn _wings_ and beat me over the head until I wrote it.
> 
> Since I'm the first to use the tag I get to name it, and it's name is Takashay. Fight me. Also full disclosure that this is unbeta'd.

Since leaving Earth for Kerberos, Shiro had woken up in a variety of places, many of them uncomfortable.  For six months on the Daedalus, he'd either fallen asleep on the padded, upright slab that he clipped into, or drifted off in the pilot's seat.  For a year after - well, Shiro didn't remember many, or even most of the places he'd slept.  But every one he knew of had been hard and smooth, featureless and cold.  At the castle, Shiro had first tried to sleep on a mountain of pillows, and when that had proven uncomfortable, had been pleased with their simple cots.

This time was the first time in recent memory that he'd woken up with a rock digging into his spine.

Groaning, Shiro shifted, trying to raise a shoulder so he could knock the stone away.  His body protested immediately.  Each movement felt exhausting, like his armor was much heavier than he remembered.

Wait.

Armor.

Fight.

_ Zarkon. _

Shiro jolted up, then groaned as his shoulders and back screamed at him.  

After a few moments, the worst of the ache finally subsided.  Shiro opened his eyes and looked around.

He was in a room made of rock, on a table made of rock, with a doorway made of rock.

Shiro sensed a theme.  

Reaching behind him, Shiro finally batted at what had been bothering him so much.  It felt like a boulder under him, but turned out to be little more than a pebble.  It clattered to the floor, making a mockingly tiny sound as it landed.  Shiro made a face at it.

"Hello?" Shiro called, looking around again.  There was no immediate answer. He turned in place, letting his legs hang over the side of the table as he debated getting up.  

On one hand, sitting here did him no good.

On the other, moving also sounded like a lot of pain.

Well, Shiro had never let pain stop him before.  He pushed off the table and onto his feet.  

Pain shot through him again, tingling painfully through him. This time Shiro recognized the sensation.  It was like when he would sit on his feet too long, or what he would wake up to after Haggar's sessions.  The ones he remembered, at least.

It was like his whole body had been asleep for a very long time.

Goody.

Shiro braced his hand on the table, and then on the wall as he moved through the door.  "Hello?" He called again, straightening up as best he could.  "Is anyone here?"

No one answered, but this time Shiro heard something other than his own voice echoed in the small space.

It sounded like...

Machinery? 

Each step was a little easier than the last, as if Shiro's body was remembering how to move again.  Slowly, laboriously, he made his way down the hall, following the echoing clangs.

Until he came to the end, with another huge hole that served as a door.  Stepping to it, Shiro peered out.

Then down.

A walkway curved around a huge hole that dropped hundreds of feet, and then up nearly the same distance.  In both directions, stocky figures worked on huge slabs of steel, utterly foreign looking in the otherwise natural rock.  Bright green crystals bloomed from the walls, providing light where the natural sunshine above couldn't manage.

It was also familiar.

This was-

"Shiro!"

Looking down again, Shiro saw one of the figures wave their huge, blunt hand.  Green light from the crystal glinted off her earrings and showed the shape of her friendly smile.

"Shay!"  Shiro waved back, then started down the ramp toward her platform.  But he forgot himself for a moment, taking his hand off the wall. His foot didn't lift all the way, and he nearly tripped onto his face, only barely catching himself on the rocky wall.

There was a commotion below, and Shiro heard Shay's brother - Rax, he thought? - speak.  His tone was not complimentary.  But Shay didn't respond, at least that Shiro could hear.

Jogging up the ramp, Shay put her huge hands on Shiro's shoulders and helped to heft him upright again.  "Are you well, Shiro?  You should not be up.  You have been sleeping for many vargas.  I do not know how long your species sleeps for, but I was worried."

"Can't say I know very well either, these days," Shiro muttered, more to himself.  "I'm alright, don't worry.  Just getting my footing."  He looked up at her and offered a smile.

Shay looked relieved.  More so than Shiro could have expected.

How long was 'many vargas?'

"I-"  Shiro looked around.  "Where's everyone else?"  Last he remembered, they'd just fought Zarkon.  The teleduv jump had taken them clear to the other side of the known universe from Shay's Balmera.

So how the hell had he ended up here?

"I do not know," Shay replied.  "I had hoped you would have more answers.  It is clear you have been through much since the last time we spoke."

Since the last time-

Well, they hadn't really spoken one-on-one ever, but last time Shay had spoken to him had been barely a day ago, by Shiro's estimation.

Then again, 'much' was a pretty good way of putting what they'd just done.

Shiro looked around again, then back at Shay.  "How did I get here?"

"I do not know that either, I am afraid," Shay replied.  "Perhaps we should talk elsewhere?  You do not seem stable."

Shiro didn't feel very stable.  He was so far away from where he was supposed to be and he didn't know how or why.

Again.

Finally, Shiro gave a bob of a nod.  "I'd appreciate a place to sit down," he replied.  "Maybe where we can talk?"

Shay's grip tightened, then shifted so he was pressed against her side.  Like this, Shiro was reminded that Shay was actually a little taller than him, and certainly broader.  "Yes.  Let us find a quiet place.  Hopefully we will both learn what we need."

"Sounds good to me," Shiro replied.  "It doesn't usually work out that way, but we'll try."

As they walked back into the hallway Shiro had just trudged through, Shiro cast one last look back at the busily working figures in the cavern.

Shiro had so many questions, but what else was new?

***

"We found you some time ago," Shay explained.  "You were on the surface.  It is a good thing someone was up there - often quintent will pass where no one is above the caverns.  At first, we were not sure what to make of you.  You wore a paladin's armor, but you do not look as we remembered."

Shiro rested his elbows on his thighs, frowning deeply.  "You've said that before.  What do you mean?"

Pausing, Shay tilted her head.  It was hard to read her pupiless eyes, but they widened as if in surprise.  "You do not know?  Let me-"  She paused, moving to a wall.  With a touch, a panel of rock pulled back, showing several shelves built into a small alcove.  After a moment, she pulled out a piece of metal, shined and polished to a mirror finish.  Then she held it up for him to see.

Once again, Shiro's reflection was different than it should have been.

This time, his hair had gone completely white.

Shiro's eyes widened, and he reached up slowly.   The white strands moved with his touch, the same length and texture he expected.  Just... white.

All this time, Shiro had suspected the forelock was something Haggar did.  It was a baffling, alien change, like his arm.

But maybe not.  Or maybe Haggar had done this too, somehow.  Shiro still didn't know the extent of her abilities.

"Well, I'm glad someone found me, and you decided to grab me."  He dropped his hand and looked above the mirror at Shay, rather than keep looking at his own reflection.  "You said I was asleep for a long time?"

Shay considered him, then nodded.  "Yes.  Nearly two quintent."

Two days of sleeping.  And that was just since he was found.

No wonder Shiro had been shaky on his feet.  Not only had he been still so long, he was probably dehydrated.

That would have explained the twisting in his stomach, too, except Shiro suspected that was his shock.

"Okay," he replied.  "Okay.  That's not so bad."  Two days was a long time to worry, but not so long that full chaos could break out.  Shiro hoped everyone was okay.  "I was just laying there?  No Black Lion?"

Shay shook her head.  "No.  You were-"  She paused, frowning thoughtfully.  "From what I was told, you were lying down on a circle of crystals, like the Balmera produces.  But this was flat, like a pool of water."

"What?"  Shiro leaned back on the palms of his hand, trying to figure that one out.  Before waking up, there had been the fight, and they'd just won.  Black had been suffering under Zarkon's attacks, trying to reroute all that energy, but had otherwise seemed alright.  Then-

Then nothing.  Then light.  

No, not nothing.  A feeling.  A sensation.  Like floating.

Had Shiro ended up in that astral plane somehow?

"I have no explanation for you," Shay replied.  "I am sorry.  I have never known anything like it."

"That's alright.  Thank you for telling me what you do know."  Shiro straightened up again, shoulders set.  "For now, the most important thing is to call my team.  I'm sure they're worried."

Shay's lips pressed thin. "The most important thing is to give you food and drink.  You have had nothing for too long.  That is dangerous."

"It can wait," Shiro replied, waving that off.  "I'll send the signal and let them know, then eat."

Slowly, Shay's shoulders slumped.  "I do not believe you should wait.  We attempted to contact them when we found you.  But our resources are limited, and they are a long way away.  Our calls did not reach them."

That-

No.

That hadn't been a problem Shiro had even considered.  Of course they could contact the team through their allies.  

But they also hadn't expected to take a giant teleduv as far as they possibly could, to the very edges of the Galra empire.  In the chaos, once they'd gotten everything they needed, no one had stopped to think if it would affect communication with their allies.  Or maybe someone had, and then dismissed it.  Zarkon's defeat was more important, after all.  If they couldn't beat him, they couldn't keep their allies safe regardless.

But now Shiro was stranded.

"Shiro," Shay called.  She was suddenly much closer, the mirror set down next to him and her hands up soothingly.  "You look unwell."

"I-"  Shiro stared up at her, at her alien face, and realized that mirror was the only human face he was going to see for the next while.

He couldn't contact the team.  They were too far away.  They had no idea where they were.  They had no reason to come to this Balmera any time soon, and who knew how long it could take for them to wind up in this area again.

Shiro was alone here.

Swallowing, Shay finally nodded and put her hands on Shiro's shoulders.  "Food.  You need to eat, and you need to drink.  After you may handle this problem."  She smiled.  "Surely it must be less difficult to fight than a robeast."

Right.  She was right.  "Good plan," Shiro murmured.  He stood, and he was grateful for the hands helping to keep him steady.

Food first.  Then solutions.  Shiro could do that.

The alternative was to face the gaping, dark realization that he was alone again, and this time he had a team who needed him.

As they walked, a thought hit.  "Shay, can I ask you another question?"

Shay nodded earnestly, looking eager to offer something other than bad news.  "Of course."

"How long as it been since we were here for the crystal?"

Pausing, Shay tilted her head, thinking about it.  "About... thirty quintent?  I would have to look to be sure."

Thirty-

Shiro tripped, and Shay swept forward, helping to hold him up.  She was saying more words, but they washed over the static of his mind.

A month. 

Shiro had been gone for a month.

***

Shiro chewed on something that had a crunchy outside and a squishy inside.  So far, he was doing a very good job of just eating and nothing thinking about what was in his mouth.

In front of him was a huge panel, made of re-purposed Galra technology.  Attached to the front was the small console that Pidge and Hunk had made for the Balmera to communicate with the team.

This was the nexus of all interstellar communication on the Balmera.

Shiro supposed he couldn't complain - at least they knew what they were contacting.  Earth had buildings upon buildings all to broadcast to the stars, but most of it was for colonies and air traffic.  Everything else fell onto deaf ears.

Good.  Catching any attention out in space was a bad idea.

Shiro was proof of that.

Biting down on the shell of his food, Shiro sat down in front of the panel and grabbed onto the screws with his metal hand.  He undid them quickly, then pulled it open.

Inside was a mass of wires and chips.  It was dizzying to look at without so much as a guidebook to help understand.  Shiro had a decent, very basic understanding of electronics and engineering, but it wasn't his specialization.

It would be so much easier if this was inside a plane.

"He should not be doing that," muttered Rax.  "Do we know that he is capable?  He could damage something and leave us all stranded."

Shay sighed.  "I am sure he knows.  He is a paladin of Voltron."

"That means he can fight monsters, it does not mean he can work technology!"

Shiro tilted his head all the way back and pulled the bug out of his math.  "I have a basic idea.  I won't mess with anything until I'm sure of what I'm doing."

Upside down, Rax's scowl was not any less pronounced.  "A basic idea," he repeated back, each word clipped and disbelieving.  "How very reassuring."

Which was fair.  It was a pretty bullshit line.

But Shay nudged him with her elbow and gestured. "See?  He said he knows what he is doing."

"No he did not," Rax argued.

Leaving them to it, Shiro took another bite, then went back to looking.  The center section was obviously the power source, as evidenced by the glowing battery - genuine Balmera crystal, surprise surprise.  The wires that went straight up into the top area of the console were no doubt the interface.  That meant Shiro could develop a more advanced understanding of the parts by cross comparing the display's readout with which wire it corresponded to.  That in mind, he booted it up and started to flip through the screen, watching what parts lit and whirred in response.

Shiro also ignored the part of his brain that told him this was a wasted effort.  Even if he was able to identify why the communications couldn't reach the castle, Shiro had no idea how to build something that would work.

This fiddling wouldn't help him.  But it didn't have to.  It was something to do that wasn't thinking.

"Well?" Rax asked, stepping over.  His voice was still harsh, but his gaze flickered over the mechanics in open fascination.  "What do you see?"

Swallowing the last of his food, Shiro hummed thoughtfully.  "Well, nothing that'll help me boost the signal.  But I think I know what parts do what, and that's step one."

"I see," Rax replied.  "I wish for you to demonstrate your knowledge before you are allowed to continue to jeopardize our equipment.  Explain it to me."

Shiro took a sip of water, long and drawn out just to make Rax squirm.  "You know, if you're interested, you can just ask."

Eyes narrowed, Rax huffed.  "I am only interested in keeping you from breaking something vital."

"Rax," Shay groaned, the sound so quintessentially  _ sibling  _ that Shiro half expected to hear Matt start ranting about the bullshit his sister had last said on the phone.

The thought made Shiro's stomach flip hard.  His throat tightened as his food threatened to come up again.

"Alright," Shiro replied.  "Sure.  I'll show you."

Rax kneeled down, eyes wide and bright.  He nodded along as Shiro explained each part and its function, and for once kept his comments to himself.

It did help, a little, to speak his thoughts out loud.  Mostly it was an excuse to talk and distract himself.

"Could we not get a larger crystal?" Rax asked.  "There are many now that the Balmera is in good health.  With more energy it could broadcast further."

Shiro nodded.  "We'll definitely need to do that later, but for now, I don't know that extra energy will do more good than harm.  Too much power could just fry the wires."

Slumping, Rax scowled again.  "We could try."

"Let's try on something a little less essential, but sure."  Shiro leaned back on his palms and sighed.  "For now, I'll keep working on this."  Shiro could probably rewire some of this too, at least temporarily, and see how well that worked.  Take out some non-essential processes just to see.  But first, he needed to be sure he could put it all back in place when he was done.

That in mind, Shiro activated his Galra arm.  Rax jumped and took a big step away, looking wary.  

On his other side, Shay stepped closer.  "Is something wrong?" 

"No, sorry, I didn't mean to alarm you.  I'm just-" he paused.  "Would it hurt the Balmera to scratch out some notes?"

Rax snorted.  "You could not harm the Balmera with your little arm, no matter how much you wanted to.  A scratch can be healed with a thought."

The tone wasn't friendly, but Shiro smiled back anyway, reassured.  "Good to know.  Thank you."  With that, he started to sketch out the layout, carefully labeling where he could.

Shay watched him work, gaze flickering back and forth between the console and the drawing.  "I hope you are able to come to a solution.  Are you in need of more food or water?"

Ugh. No more food.  Shiro was hoping he could get to the castle, where he only had to worry about food goo, before too many meals had passed.  "I'm fine for now, thank you."

"We should go, then.  Grandmother needs our help to create new pathways from the top."

Rax hesitated, but nodded.  "We will be back," he told Shiro.  It was probably meant as a threat, but his eyes were still firmly locked on the tech.  He was probably hoping for a second lesson more than anything.

"Sure.  I'll see you soon."

They left quietly, voices carrying oddly through the stone hallway.  Shiro barely paid attention, focus completely consumed by his sketching.

He was going to make this work.

***

Shiro couldn't make this work.

If he had all the time in the universe, Shiro could probably figure out how to boost the signal.  But he was still too afraid to really dismantle the console, even with his sketch.  Small changes were fine, but if he broke something or confused the parts, it could take days to get it working again.  

That was also days of Rax complaining, which Shiro wasn't excited about.

Standing, Shiro started to pace through the little room, eyes flickering to the console and away again.  Right now it was at least broadcasting at all.  This could stay as it was.  But there were all kinds of ships and powers laying around in various states of disarray.  Surely one of them had something better than this little device that Pidge and Hunk had spat out in three hours.

Maybe.  Assuming the stupid robeast hadn't blown them up.  Or the paladins hadn't.  Or they hadn't just crashed.  Assuming Shiro could manage to get them working.

Okay, Shiro couldn't afford to think about that.  He'd do this.  He'd get it done.  Shiro would call home and let them know he was alright, that he was sorry he'd been gone for so long, come get him and  _ bring him home. _

Just not right now.

Unfortunately, right now was when he needed the project, because right now was when the panic was pressing at the back of his mind.  The plain rock walls were too close, the ceiling too low, the lights too dim.

There was soft noise like a cleared throat. Shiro whirled, heart in his throat and his arms up.  But it was only Shay who stood there, gaze soft.

She looked like she could understand what Shiro was thinking.

God, he hoped not.

"Hello," he greeted, voice calm as he could manage.  "Did you need something?"

Shay shook her head.  "I only wished to check in on you.  Are you well?"

"Yes," Shiro replied, voice becoming easy and confident.  "I didn't make as much progress as I had hoped, but I should still be able to make this work.  I just might need to different starting point."  

Stepping in closer, Shay frowned.  "Is there something you require for that?"  Her tone was careful and slow, like she was weighing each word against Shiro's mood.  Her eyes drifted down to his hands.

Which were clenched into tight fists.

So he wasn't projecting as much calm as he'd thought, huh?

"Right now, I don't think..."  Shiro finally met Shay's eyes, then trailed off.

She wasn't judging him.  She wasn't looking to him for advice or guidance.  She wasn't looking for a weakness.  

Shay just wanted to know how to help.

Shoulders slumping, Shiro nodded.  "Actually, there's one thing, if you don't mind."

"I cannot tell you if I mind if you do not tell me what it is."

The blunt answer drew a real smile out of him.  It was the first since he'd woken up.  "Can we go to the top?  I'd like some fresh air.  It'd help clear my head."

Shay's eyes widened.  "Oh!  Yes, I have time for that, if you wish.  I understand.  Humans are not built for this in the same way, are they?"

"Some would be alright," Shiro replied.  "But I'm not one for enclosed spaces if I have a choice."

Nodding thoughtfully, Shay stepped aside and gestured to the door.  "Then let us get you to the surface."

Once Shiro was through, Shay pressed her palm to the rock face and closed her eyes.  After a few moments of concentration, a doorway appeared, with a ramp that went up and up.  Shiro could just barely see a pinprick of light at the top.

Glancing at Shay, Shiro offered another small smile.  "That's very convenient."

"The Balmera is kind to us," Shay replied, smiling back.  The look pushed up her cheeks, making her eyes seem to curve happily.  "I imagine it is difficult to live in a place where you cannot ask for a walkway."

Shiro's brows rose.  "Well, usually there's not so much in the way.  But you're right.  I'd love that ability in the castle."  He started up the ramp.  It was a long walk, but very worth it.  "Is it easier to talk to the Balmera now that it's feeling better?"

Nodding, Shay followed him up, moving so they were nearly arm to arm.  "Oh, yes.  Before, it would take a long time to get a response.  The Balmera was in pain, and it cost more energy to respond.  Now it is nearly immediate."  She smiled again, soft and gentle.  "The difference is astonishing.  I am pleased to have been part of that."

"I'm glad we could help," Shiro replied softly.  Even now, knowing what he did, it was still difficult to think of the Balmera as a living thing.  He understood intellectually that they could hurt it.  That was easier from inside the lion's cockpit, where he could look down and see the whole creature.  Inside like this, it just felt like rocks and caves and crystals that the Balmerans could control.

Reaching out, Shiro ran his fingers along the rock.  "Does it feel touch?  I know Rax said I wasn't hurting it, but can it tell when I do this?"

"Only if you call the Balmera's attention.  Otherwise it would constantly feel each step and brush."  Shay's eyes sparkled mischievously.  "I imagine that would be very distracting."

Shiro laughed, almost surprised at himself.  He was feeling better already, both from the sight of sunlight and the easy conversation.  "Agreed."  He dropped his hand.  "So it didn't feel Hunk's scratching?"

Grinning widely, Shay tilted her head.  "It may have.  It was just healed from that area, so it may have been paying attention."

"Hopefully," Shiro replied.

The conversation faded into comfortable silence for a few moments.  Shiro glanced over at Shay, but her eyes were straight ahead.  There was a confidence to her that Shiro had only glimpsed in their brief second visit.  Shay was comfortable here, in a way that hadn't been possible when the Galra had controlled them.

It was good to see.  The nature of their jobs meant they only caught glimpses of the places they helped.  This was the first time Shiro had spent downtime on any of the planets since Arus.  He'd never seen such a clear picture of before and after.

Shiro had never gotten the chance to see the results of their work.

Smiling, Shiro looked to the sky as well.  They were getting close now.  Details had become visible, from the soft, blue color of the sky to the orange-brown color of the ground.

"Speaking of Hunk," Shay finally spoke, looking to him.  "He is well?"

Shiro paused, his expression falling.  "They all were when I left.  Stressed with everything going on, but we- we won.  I think."

Expression falling, Shay's fingers twitched like she was thinking of reaching out.  "I am sorry.  I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, it's a fair question.  Hunk is a friend and you wanted to ask after him."  Shiro's head tilted and he glanced at her again, this time sly.  "Well, I assume friend."

Shay only looked confused.  "Yes, of course Hunk is a friend.  Why do- oh!  I see.  You think..."  She looked down at her feet.  "A friend, yes."

"If I hit a nerve, I apologize."

Head popping up, Shay shook her head.  "Oh, no.  It is not a- a nerve.  There were thoughts, but nothing that would last a distance.  That was what we decided."

Expression softening, Shiro reached out and rested his hand on Shay's arm.  "I'm sorry to hear that.  It's always a hard call to make, to put aside feelings for circumstances."

Shay nodded.  "Yes, it is.  But that is the cost of living a larger life, I believe.  You meet more wonderful people, but don't always get the time you wanted with them."

"Very true," Shiro replied, soft and gentle.  He stared out at the sky and thought of his team, especially Keith.  This was the second time Shiro had left him.  That was cruelty, even unintended.

That was the cost of living, to disappoint loved ones.  But living in the first place was what brought them together.

Finally, they walked into the sunshine.

Immediately, Shiro took a huge, deep breath.  The air in the mines and tunnels wasn't what Shiro would call stale.  The canned air on most ships was worse.  But it was just better to feel the wind and the sun on the face.

Allura had called the Black Lion the guardian spirit of the sky.  That had never really affected Shiro personally.  Pidge, Keith and Lance had element-specific powers, but Yellow and Black seemed more removed from theirs.

In this moment?

Shiro got it.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw Shay watching him, gaze soft.  "You really do need to be on the surface, don't you?"

Shiro smiled back.  "Apparently so.  I didn't realize how much until just now."

The sun was just beginning to dip toward the horizon, still clear and high in the sky.  In the distance, entire fields of Balmera crystals glimmered in the sunlight.  There was one largish patch that looked almost like rubble, and Shiro suspected that was where the robeast had once been captured and presumed dead.

It was gorgeous.  Shiro had known that before, but now he got the chance to stop and appreciate it.  To really  _ see. _

In fact, he wanted to see more.  

An outcropping behind them looked promising.  Shiro tilted his head, sizing it up, and then dashed toward it.  Behind him, Shay called out, surprised, but Shiro launched himself up.  He planted his foot and pushed, getting a few more feet before he had to grab onto a handhold in the rock face.  For a moment he dangled from both arms, and then he swung himself to the side until he could get a decent foothold.  Then he jumped off that again, letting him grab onto the top of the rock.

When he climbed up and grinned down, Shay stood below, her hands on her hips.

"I do not understand," she called.  "Did you require something on top of the rocks?"

Shiro shook his head.  "Not really.  The view's great!  How are you at climbing?"

Staring back, Shay shook her head, making her earrings dangle wildly.  Then she pressed her hand to the rock.  A ramp formed on the side, letting her walk calmly up to the top.

Shiro looked up at her, lips still curled in a smile.  "I liked my way better."

Shay only managed to keep the stern face for a moment longer.  Then it cracked into a smile.  "You are a strange being."

"I am," Shiro agreed.  "I like climbing. Seeing if I can do it is part of the fun."

Sitting down next to him, Shay shifted so her tail was laid out flat behind her.  "And if you had fallen?"

Shiro shrugged.  "That's what armor is for."

"Strange," Shay repeated, but it was fond.  She looked out over the huge, sparkling field.  "You are right.  This point has an excellent view."

Nodding, Shiro leaned back on his palms, enjoying the sight.  Then he glanced over at Shay.  "How much time do you spend up here?"

"Not much.  There is much work to be done, still.  I cannot afford the time to walk out here just to look."

Shiro could understand that completely, but seeing that feeling reflected on Shay's face made his chest tighten.  "I don't think anyone would mind if you made time."

Considering, Shay nodded.  "Maybe not.  But I would know that I was wasting time." She turned to look at Shiro.  "But if it is required for your human health, I will just have to find opportunities, will I not?"

Shiro barked out a laugh.  "Well, I'm happy to be an excuse.  This view deserves to be enjoyed.   Maybe from a different spot, next time."  The view from up in the lions had been astonishing.  At least, it had been when Shiro had bothered to glance at it.  It hadn't been important at the time.  

Maybe that should change.

"I would like that," Shay replied.  She leaned in closer until their arms brushed.

It was barely any contact, but Shiro stilled anyway.  He wasn't used to touch from anyone outside of his team.

But Shay didn't pause or look at him. The brush was completely incidental as she continued to enjoy the view.

Slowly, Shiro let out a breath and relaxed.

He still had so much to do, but Shiro might be stuck here for a little while.

As much as he'd rather be with his team, that didn't have to be torture.

For now, Shiro needed something to keep him occupied while he waited for his signal to work.

And he thought he knew just the thing to keep him busy.

***

"Rax said I could find you here."

Taking the wrench out of his mouth, Shiro used it to wave to Shay.  "Hi.  Yes, he helped me find this."  He patted the side of the Galra jet with a fond pat.

Rax turned out to be an excellent resource for the available technology on the Balmera.  Most of what they'd recovered from the occupation and resulting fight was in severe states of disrepair, or else outright blown to hell.  

This little jet served two purposes.  First was that it had a communicator that was able speak with the Galra mothership at long distances, and so was a great resource for Shiro to learn from.

The second, well...

Shay stepped closer and put her hand on the metal.  She knocked curiously, head tilted as she listened.  "You wish to use it for parts?"

"Nah, that'd be a waste of an intact ship," Shiro replied.  He ducked back into the cockpit, mind still mostly on the repairs he needed to make.  He'd changed into the local garb, wince the armor wasn't comfortable to sit around in.  It was a shock to see his bare arms again as he worked.

There was a long pause like Shay was waiting for him to say more.  Shiro would have, except the wiring of Galra cockpits was complex and he was quickly absorbed into his task.  

"What do you need an intact ship for?" Shay finally asked, raising her voice just a touch.

Shiro popped his head out to blink at her.  "For the primary purpose of a ship?"

Frowning back, Shay eyed the jet dubiously.  "You believe this will take you to Voltron?"

"What?"  Shiro pulled himself out completely so he could hang over the side of the craft.  "Of course not, this thing isn't supposed to be more than a couple astronomical units from a landing ship.  No, no, I don't mean for travel.  I mean for flying."  He gestured up.  "We talked about a better view next time, remember?"

Shay's eyes widened, and then she beamed.  "You can fly this?"

"Sure," Shiro replied, warmed at her enthusiasm.  "They're not as difficult as what my homeworld had me flying.  These are something just about every soldier needs to be able to pick up and fly.  It's more user interface than personal piloting.  Not as fun, but, well, satisfaction traded for results."

Shay continued to stare at him.  "I believe that I understand those words separately."

Laughing, Shiro waved her up.  "Wanna come up and see for yourself?"

"It is ready for flight?"

Shiro shook his head. "Oh, no, not yet.  Definitely not.  This little craft had a rough landing, it needs some TLC yet.  But the UI still works if you want to see for yourself how it'd run."

Mouth falling open, Shay stepped back nervously.  "Me?  Learn to fly?"

"It won't come off the ground yet.  You'll just see how it works."  Shiro's expression fell.  "But if you're not comfortable with that, don't worry.  I thought it would be fun to try."

Shay considered the plane nervously, then finally gave a nod.  "Alright.  I do not believe the real thing would be wise.  I am made to live in tunnels, not in the air."

"Humans are made to walk around in grassy fields," Shiro replied.  "Doesn't stop us from flying.  Either way, no harm in just playing with the computer.  C'mon."  He gestured for her to come up the ramp.  She did, arms folded at her chest and head ducked down.  Clearly, these ships weren't made with Balmerans in mind.

The pair of them had to jam in tightly to fit in the one-Galra cockpit.  At first, the contact made Shiro tense.  Around his team he could handle it.  But too much contact still made him think of combat rather than comfort.

Eventually the feeling began to fade, or at least Shiro had adjusted.  He was able to plug in a fresh crystal and run Shay through the basic take-off and landing program.

"Amazing," she murmured, tapping over the screen.  "Is this what it's like to fly a lion?"

Shiro laughed and shook his head.  "Oh, no.  The lions mostly fly themselves.  We mostly give them a focus.  Basically we point in the right direction and the lion just goes."

That drew a giggle out of Shay.  "I apologize.  I just imagined you sitting astride the lions and pointing as you flew through space.

It was such a silly image that Shiro threw his head back and laughed.  "It's not that far off, emotionally.  Black might think it was undignified, but I think that's a plus, not a problem."

Slowly, Shiro's smile faded.

He missed Black, missed that connection between them.  By now, Keith was probably flying them.  If not, Allura.  Someone had to.

Voltron was more important.  Shiro didn't resent that.

He did miss it.  He did wish he was there instead.

Shiro missed his team.

"Do you want to try it again on your own?" Shiro asked.  "You can do that while I keep working."

Pausing, Shay considered him.  "Will I be in the way?  I don't want to interfere if it will help get you home."

If Shiro was being absolutely frank, yes.  It was much harder to work and maneuver with Shay in the cockpit.  She was broad and sturdy, and her tail kept shifting and thumping Shiro in the small of his back.

But he also liked her there.  Shay was enthusiastic and caring.  There was a bravery and a taste for adventure too, one Shiro wanted to encourage.  Shay should get to see more.  She should get to see the world from above, the way Shiro most loved to see it.

Most selfishly of all, Shay was warm against Shiro's side.  She was sturdy in a way that put Shiro at ease.  He didn't feel like he could easily and accidentally hurt her.  And Shiro had been without touch for a month, somehow.  Once he was used to someone against him, he found he liked her there.

"Stay," Shiro offered.  "You're not interfering.  And this way if you're not sure about a step than you can ask."

Shay met his eyes, then nodded and smiled.  "I would like that.  Thank you."  She bent forward, her pure yellow eyes narrowed in concentration as she delicately poked at the screen.

For a moment, Shiro just watched her work, charmed by the sheer concentration on her face.

Then he caught himself staring and went back to work.  This communications console wouldn't fix itself, after all.

***

"Shiro!" Rax called.  He was leaning backwards, his broad shoulders helping to hold up part of a Galra jet wing before it could topple over the side of the platform.

If it did, then someone would speak to the Balmera and a rock would jut out and catch it before it could harm anyone.  But it would bang the hell out of an otherwise good piece of metal.

Nodding, Shiro offered a quick look back and smile at Dava, who waved him off.  She picked up the huge piece of metal he'd sheared off as if it was made of styrofoam.  Then she began to walk it down with the rest of the mornings works.

That settled, Shiro jogged up the ramp to Rax.  "Where do you want it cut?"

"There."  Rax pointed to the exact spot, then shifted his weight when the wing started to slip.  "Closer to me, away from the main control panels."

Shiro smiled.  "You've got it."  Lighting his arm, he cut carefully around the most delicate of the mechanisms, which were at least mostly intact.  Once it was sliced through, Rax grunted but managed to support the weight.  The ship itself teetered from the sudden shift, but a jut of rock jabbed out.  It pressed against the side, holding the ship up without sending it toppling.

Around the edge of the mining shaft, from the surface down, similar reclaiming activities were taking place.  About fifty feet up, a bridge was being both taken apart and rebuilt at once, with slabs of stone to keep it upright through construction.  Above that, glowing crystals powered a machine that took scraps and spat them back out as molten metal.

Part of Shiro was surprised they hadn't just collectively had the Balmera spit out the crashed ships and leftover equipment, but they were a more pragmatic people than that.  The Balmera was the only creature that could produce these powerful crystals, but it didn't support much else.  All the metal and technology they could take from the Galra leftovers was something they didn't have to mine and smelt themselves.

Besides, why not repurpose the metal and technology for their own use?  It was theirs now to do with as they pleased.  They had decided to use what had hurt them to improve their lives and to get back at the Galra when possible.

Considering Shiro's arm, he could only approve of that attitude.

Now that the wing was off, Rax put it on the ground and started to undo the casing.  Under was a mass of wires and chips that he carefully disassembled.  Once he had out the parts he wanted, he set those aside and took the rest of the wing to be slagged.  

"Need me for anything else?" Shiro asked, watching with open amusement.  Rax's attitude hadn't improved much, though he at least seemed to respect Shiro's understanding of Galra and flight technology.  

Ironically, the person Rax really needed to talk to was Hunk.  Shiro hoped that reunion would happen some day soon just so he could hear them argue and snipe over a piece of machinery.  It would be entertaining to watch.

Shrio's stomach twisted.  How long would it take for that reunion to happen?  Before he saw Hunk or any of his team again?  Shiro tapped idly over the little communicator on his wrist.  It would inform him if anyone responded to the signal immediate.

So far, it was damningly silent.

Rax waved him off.  "No.  I have what I need."  He bounced on his claws, then paused.  "Oh.  Shay wished to speak with you."

Expression going flat, Shiro tilted his head. "And when did Shay need to speak with me?"

"Before I came to work."  Rax's smirk grew.  "It has been several varga."

Son of a-

"Thank you for that timely message," Shiro drawled back, already turning.  "Where was she when she asked?"

Rax waved him off.  "Around."  His smirk grew.  "I thought it was best to give you time apart.  You spend much time together."

"I'll keep that in mind," Shiro muttered back.  Then he paused and shot Rax is own smirk.  "Shay should be on the lower levels, I believe."

Rax's brows rose.  Then, to Shiro's surprise, he nodded approvingly.  "She will be, on these sorts of days."

Huh.  From his attitude, Shiro had thought the knowledge would annoy Rax.  He squinted back, not sure if he was missing something, but eventually waved him off and headed down.

Navigating the Balmera alone was, at best, a challenge.  The tunnels were constantly changing and rearranging, and Shiro often stuck to the more stable areas, like the main shafts.  Shiro had tried to keep maps, but within a week they were useless.

For the most part, the Balmeras were kind about having someone without their abilities living among them.  It helped that Shiro's arm could interface with the Galra tech easily, which was a valuable skill.  A few of the tunnels had become semi-permanent, though once in awhile someone would forget and Shiro would find himself at a dead end.  On those days, he had no choice but to trudge back up and ask for a hand.

Today, though, Shiro was able to get down to the lower levels without an issue.  He asked around for directions until he was able to track Shay down.  She was in one of the lowest possible chambers - the room where they'd plucked out the huge Balmeran crystal to get the teleduv working.  Now there was a large empty space, but the walls and floors were covered in more, smaller crystals.

"Shay?" Shiro called.  "You wanted to see me?"

Perking, Shay turned around and smiled at him.  "Yes.  I still do, in fact.  Were you quite busy?"

Shiro offered a toothy smile back.  "A little.  Sorry about that."  No need to rat Rax out.  Shiro could get his own back later.

Shay nodded her understanding.  "Come here.  I wish to see something."

Brows up, Shiro stepped over so he was shoulder to shoulder with Shay.  They stood on the last bit of rock available to be stepped on.  The rest of the room was a glimmering sea of shining green crystals.

Shiro admired the view like he enjoyed the fields above on the surface.  Then he smiled at Shay.  "It's lovely, but I felt you had a specific purpose for bringing me here."

"You would be correct," Shay replied, smiling.  "I wish to see something.  Reach out like this and touch the crystal."  She showed him, planting her huge palms on one particular piece.  

Shiro followed, his mismatched hands dwarfed by hers.  His pinky just barely brushed the rough skin, and he moved it back away quickly.  Whoops. 

Then Shay closed her eyes.  "I want you to concentrate.  Reach out to the Balmera.  Feel it."

Shiro's eyes widened.  "You want me to try and speak with it?"

"I do."

Slowly, he shook his head.  "I don't think- I'm not like you.  Humans aren't built for this."

Shay just shot him a fond look.  "Are you not able to speak to your lion?  From what has been said, I do not believe it is so different an action."

Well, shoot.  Fair.  Shiro gave a jerky nod.  "Fair point.  I just concentrate?"

"Yes."  Shay smiled encouragingly, but Shiro continued to hesitate.  "It would be better if you could, correct?"

Shiro nodded.  "Yes, but-"  He shrugged helplessly.  "Humans are just not built like you."

"Balmerans are built to stay underground," Shay replied slyly.  "And yet you believe I can fly."

It was on the tip of Shiro's tongue to reply that it was different.  After all, she was using a tool to fly and he was just using his hands on the crystal.  But Shiro gave up and smiled.  

Shay would have her way.  She had when it came to helping Hunk, she always did with Rax, and she would with Shiro.

So Shiro closed his eyes.  "Just concentrate," he murmured to himself, brow furrowing as he threw himself into the task.  He reached out, the way he always did with the lion.  At this distance, there was only a hint of a sensation from the Black Lion, possibly only imagined.  

The lion would have met him halfway, already warm and purring and alive.

There was nothing from the Balmera.

Shiro opened his eyes and shook his head.  "No, I don't feel anything."  He dropped his arms by his side.

Pausing, Shay looked him up and down.  "It's only been a few moments."

"But I don't feel anything," Shiro repeated.  "Nothing at all.  Not a hint.  Like I said, I don't think humans are made for this."

Shay snorted.  It was such a loud, nearly sarcastic noise that Shiro actually jumped.  "Do you usually give up on the first attempt?"

"No," Shiro replied carefully.  "But I usually don't fail so completely on the first try."

Shaking her head, Shay smiled.  "Somehow that does not surprise me.  You seem... unusually capable."

Considering her, Shiro slowly frowned.  "I'm not sure what you mean by that."

"I believe you have not had much experience failing," Shay replied, still smiling.  "And in doing so, you might be easily discouraged."

Shiro crinkled his nose.  "So you're saying I should suck it up and keep trying?"

"I am not sure what you are trying to suck, but yes."

Shiro wanted to be annoyed, but he could only be amused.  Shay ducked her head, still trying to hide her fond smile, so he rolled his eyes at her.  It only made her laugh.

Finally, Shiro sighed and nodded.  "You're right.  It has been a long time since I've done something I was actively bad at.  Usually I give up on those."  

Cooking had been on that list.  Shiro had ruined a few meals, decided the whole thing wasn't for him, then lived off microwaved food anytime he wasn't eating for the Garrison's cafeteria. He'd been told on no uncertain terms that was pathetic, but Shiro didn't really care.  Why bother with cooking if it wasn't something he was good at or enjoyed?  He'd get his nutrients some other way, end of story.

Shiro was feeling the same way now.  He couldn't get it, he didn't know he ever would, so screw it.

Even fighting in the arena hadn't been this alien and unreachable.  Shiro was used to conserving his energy for things that mattered - Kerberos, his next fight, leading Voltron.  

Maybe this was a good chance to learn to persevere at something he had no aptitude toward.  After all, Shiro had plenty of time.

"Alright," he agreed.  "You have a good point."  He pressed his palms harder down and continued to reach.

There was still nothing.

Shay stayed quiet for a long moment, letting Shiro concentrate.  When he finally sighed and pulled back, she put her hand on his shoulder. "It may not work," she acknowledged.  "But sometimes I find when I'm concentrating on a problem, I am able to come to a solution without the need of the Balmera.

Ah, so that was Shay's plan.

It wasn't a bad idea.  Shiro was doing a lot of thinking work and not much fighting at the moment.  Maybe a chance to organize his thoughts was what he needed.

Shiro looked over at Shay and smiled.  "I'll keep trying."

"I know you will," Shay replied, voice soft.  "You are a being of your word.  It is something I admire about you, and of your paladins."

Expression softening, Shiro's shoulders slumped.  "We try.  We all try.  But we can't always keep our promises."  Like the ones he'd given to Keith that he'd stay.  Or the ones to Pidge that he'd be there to help find her family, or the ones to Lance that they'd get home, or the ones to Hunk that nothing would happen to them.

His plummeting mood must have shown, because Shay squeezed harder.  "Come.  Have you had a meal today, yet?"

Shiro offered a thin smile.  "No, not yet."

"We will take the meal together, then," Shay replied.  "Maybe you would like to tell stories?  Mine will not be as interesting as yours, but I would love to hear yours."

Nodding, Shiro followed her out, his gaze still back on the crystal they'd been touching.  "Sure, I'd be happy to share.  Actually, I have a pretty good one from right before we came to get the crystal from you about a prisoner we freed.  I think you'll like that one."  Shiro finally looked over and smiled at her.  "I'd like to hear some about your family."

Shay's smile grew. "I'd like to tell it."  Her hand slid down, winding loosely around Shiro's metal wrist.

She didn't let go until they reached her family's quarters.  Shiro didn't try and pull away.

***

"Sorry!" Shiro offered Telc an apology smile as he burst through the hallway, nearly running straight into him. He barely slowed down, though, still barreling through the tunnels. Various Balmerans gave him flat looks for running, but no one bothered him over it. 

By now, Shiro was a familiar sight to them all, though usually not in this kind of mood. The permanent shift to their style of dress made him slightly less of an eyesore, but he was still comically skinny and pale compared to them.

But right now Shiro didn't care about the sight he made or the impression anyone had of him. He needed to get to Shay's quarters now.

Bursting through the open door, Shiro paused, panting. He looked around but it was only Rax and their grandmother. "W-where... Where's Shay?" He gasped out.

"You are in a rush today," Grandmother - she still refused to give him a real name - commented. The cup she held to her mouth didn't hide her smile at all.

Shiro nodded. "A little, yes. It's ready."

"The plane?" Rax confirmed. When Shiro nodded, he jumped to his feet in one quick move. "I wish to see." But then his eyes narrowed and his smile went sly. "But you wish to show Shay alone, do you?"

Frowning at him, Shiro nodded. "Yes? It's not a large space." Frankly, fitting one Balmeran into the little cockpit was uncomfortable enough. If Rax and Shay were both in there, Shiro might be flattened.

"Oh, all the better," Rax drawled.

It really was a pain that sibling teasing was so universal.

"Where's Shay?" Shiro repeated, sighing. 

Rax shrugged, then touched the wall. "You wish for her to meet you there?"

Eyes narrowed in suspicion, Shiro nodded. "Yes. And not in several hours, or not another location, or any other addition to the message."

Snickering, Rax's tail gave a stubby wag. "I would never do something so underhanded," he declared.

Grandmother scoffed. Loudly. Then she put her hand down on the Balmera. It glowed green under her palm. "The message has been sent, dear."

Unable to help it, Shiro shot Rax a smug smile. "Thank you very much."

"I am next," Rax replied, now distinctly put out.

Shiro bowed his head to him, still smirking. "Of course. I'll let you know when we're back." He started for the door, already grinning like a loon.

"Back from what?"

Without bothering to look back or slow down, Shiro waved. "From our flight!"

***

"You did it!" Shay greeted, as soon as Shiro entered the hangar.

"I did," he confirmed, beaming back.

It figured she got there first. Shay could make a direct path to the room, while Shiro had to wander around until he found a tunnel where he wanted to go. 

But it was impossible to be annoyed by that. Shay's eyes were wide and bright, and the way she was bouncing on her claws made her earrings bounce. Her excitement matched Shiro's own giddiness. Reaching out, he grabbed her hand as he headed into the ship. 

The pair of them piled into the little cockpit. Shay was still bouncing slightly, and the movement made the little ship rock with each step. But that wouldn't matter when Shiro activated the stabilizers.

Putting his hand on the console, Shiro beamed as it lit up obediently, showing the starting screen. Ready to go. He'd put it through every test he could manage and done a completely manual inspection. This little baby would fly.

"Ready?" Shiro asked. He pushed himself aside and gestured for Shay to touch.

Immediately, the smile fell off of her face. "You want- you want me to do it?"

Shiro paused.  "Sure, at least the basic taking off procedure.  Like I said, these are pretty easy to fly."  Her eyes flickered between the screen and him, all that enthusiasm draining away into anxiety.  Wincing, Shiro reached out and squeezed her arm.  Or, well, he tried.  She was made of tougher stuff than him.  "But not if you don't want to."

"I think..." Shay trailed off, shifting from foot to foot.  Now that the ship was on, it didn't react to her weight moving.  "I would prefer to watch you do it the first time."

Shiro considered.  "I really think you can do it without a problem.  I've watched you go through the program several times.  You know what you're doing.  But if you're not comfortable, I can fly the first time."  He tapped on the console, readying for take-off and opening the hangar.  The doors opened, turning the low, green lighting from the crystals into the brilliant, shining gold of sunshine.  Shiro squinted against the light and found himself grinning widely in anticipation.

"Next time," Shay assured him.  She bent over, the top of her head still nearly brushing the ceiling as she watched him work in fascination.  "This time, I will just enjoy the experience."

Looking back over his shoulder at her, Shiro nodded.  "Sounds like I should make sure our first flight is exciting enough."

Shay's eyes widened.  "Shiro?  What is it that you mean by-"

Shiro smacked his palm to the console, and the little craft rose, then started to zip forward at perhaps more speed than was completely required.

Letting out a cry, Shay latched onto the closest thing.  That happened to be Shiro's cheat.  She curled around him, solid and heavy under his back, and ducked her head into his shoulder.  "It is so fast!"

"It's a plane!" Shiro replied, not bothering to hide his amusement.  "They go pretty fast, yeah.  Trust me, I've got this.  I won't let you get hurt."

The arms around him tightened, but Shay's head tilted up as she peeked over Shiro's shoulder.

Within moments they were out of the hangar and into the open sky.  Shiro had been hoping to get out around mid-day, but the last few repairs had taken longer than he'd thought.  Instead, the sun was beginning to dip on the horizon.  There was plenty of light to see by, but it lit the fields in yellows that caught and sparkled in the blue-green crystals below.

Shiro's breath caught as they flew lower over the plains.  Behind him, Shay's breath audibly caught.  When he glanced back, her eyes were as wide as they would go, and she looked utterly transfixed by the sight.  The yellow-green light played over her face, even through the screen, sparkling in the small space.

She looked beautiful.

The realization almost took Shiro's breath away.

How long had he thought that?  How long as had he- 

Shiro snapped his attention back to the controls, suddenly hyper-aware of the way Shay was practically cradling him to her chest.  She was so heavy and solid, powerfully built and with the strength to match.

Bad thoughts,  _ bad thoughts. _

Shiro circled the huge plain and flew around one of the Balmera's huge brown spikes.  From up here, he could see there was a pattern to the growth.  Most of the crystal was uniform, like a neatly growing field.  But there were jagged lines that cut through the shining patches.  In those furrows, nothing grew.

"What are those lines?" He asked, correcting their course to fly directly over one.  "Where the crystal doesn't grow?"

Shay sighed.  "They are like scars.  Allura did wonderfully to heal the Balmera so much, but one cannot suffer without a mark.  Those lines may someday grow again, but for now, they do not."

Oh.

Stomach twisting, Shiro followed the cuts, visible and stark against the beautiful colors around it.

He could see his own arms in the Balmeran clothing, one covered in similar pale marks and the other not.

Shiro's fingers curled around the controls.  He took several deep breaths.  "I see.  A shame."

"Yes," Shay agreed.  "But the Balmera lives.  The Balmera survives.  We do not measure worth purely by the ability to create crystals.  If a few marks are the price of living, there is no one who is not grateful."

Swallowing hard, Shiro blinked hard.  His vision suddenly hazed.  "I see.  The Balmera is lucky to have beings who care for it so much."

Shay didn't answer, but her heavy arms tightened further.  The weight of her gaze on his bare skin of his arm felt physical.

They continued to soar, enjoying the changing colors of the sky.  Silence reigned, but it was comfortable.  Shiro was grateful for it.  Speaking would have been difficult right after that.

Eventually, as the oranges of the sky started to fade to blues, Shay spoke again.  "If the ship flies, the communications must work too.  Am I correct in thinking so?"

"You are," Shiro replied.  "The ship is broadcasting.  But the signal isn't much stronger than what we gave you."  He smiled, but it was thin.  "It would have been different if more of those towers had survived, but we specifically destroyed them when we fought off the Galra."  The irony tasted like blood.

Shay nodded sympathetically.  "You can still figure something out.  And they will come back this way eventually.  They cannot stay on the other side of the universe forever."

Or the team could if they died out there without Shiro, and he'd never know what happened.

He slammed his eyes shut against the thought. No.  They would be fine, he knew it.  They'd figure out how to form Voltron without him, and they would figure out a command structure, and everything would be just fine.

They would survive without him.  Shiro had made sure of it.

"They will," Shiro agreed.  He had to believe that.  He _ did _ believe that.  "Ready to head back in?"

Shay nodded.  "Yes.  We should come out again soon."

Smiling, Shiro turned back to the hangar doors.  "Of course.  Rax next.  He made me promise.  Or you could take him."

There was a long pause.  "I believe it would be better if you did," Shay replied carefully.

Shiro glanced back, brows up.  "Is that because you're nervous of flying, or because you don't want to be alone in a cockpit with your brother?"

"Can the answer not be both?"

Laughing, Shiro brought them in for a landing.  

***

"I have a question for you."

Shiro looked up, his spoon halfway to his mouth.  It was full of a stew that still didn't taste appetizing, even after months of being here.  Mostly, Shiro tried very hard not to think about what was in it.  "Maybe I have an answer for you."

Flashing him a smile, Shay gestured to the walls of the quarters.  "Have you been practicing with the Balmera?"

"Um."  Shiro froze.  "I, uh... not so much, honestly."  At her flat look, he gave a small shrug.  "I forgot about it when I got close to repairing the plane.  It preoccupied my thoughts."

"And since then?"

Shiro offered a sheepish smile.  "Like I said, I forgot."

Wagging her spoon, Shay gave him a mock-stern frown.  "I expect better of my pupil."

Shiro laughed and held up his hand in apology.  "I'm sorry.  I'll work on it tonight."  He stirred the stew, looking for more of the darker bits.  It was probably mushroom, and it was the tastiest of all the ingredients.  Also, likely the least disgusting.  "I'd like it if it worked.  It'd be much more convenient."

"You still don't think you can?" Shay questioned.

"No, I honestly don't," Shiro replied.  "I don't think I have the necessary... parts, I guess."  But her gaze was so direct and hopeful, and, well, Shiro found himself pretty easily persuaded by Shay's moods.  

Damn his heart, anyway.  What business did he have, getting so attached to someone so alien?  It couldn't ever work.

Shay sighed.  "I suppose not.  It is so odd.  We knew the Galra could not, but I always thought- well, that they did not have the respect or patience to reach out.  Any hint of hesitation or kindness was crushed immediately.  It was my assumption they did not have the heart to reach the Balmera."

"Could be," Shiro replied.  "I'll keep trying.  You're right, even if it doesn't work, some meditation will be good for me.  Get my thoughts organized."  He smiled at her over the fire.  "And maybe you're right.  Maybe I'm just impatient."

Shay smiled back.  "I wish you could feel the Balmera as I can.  I wish that awe and comfort for you."

"I understand it," Shiro murmured, voice gentling. Very well."

Nodding, Shay took a bite of her stew.  "The lions?"

Shiro's eyes roamed over Shay's face, and he felt his chest clench and swell at the same time, like there were too many feelings in him to contain.

"Yes, the lions," he murmured, voice raspy.

Luckily, Shay didn't seem to notice the odd tone.  "I wonder if the lions and the Balmera are some how related.  A type of being hard to understand and speak to, but so vast and wise."

Shiro nodded, finishing off what he could manage of his meal.  "It would make sense to me.  When I get back to the castle, I can try and look up more on the Balmera and the lions."

The smile on Shay's face faltered.  "The Alteans would know best," she agreed.

Clearly, Shiro had said something wrong.  He opened his mouth to ask, then paused.  He wasn't sure what was wrong, and he didn't want to prod at a sensitive subject.  Instead, he put his bowl aside and stood.  "Should I go down to that same room below?"

"It is closest to the heart of the Balmera," Shay replied.  She stood as well, shoulders still curled down but her voice steady.  "It is the easiest place to speak."

Nodding, Shiro made his way to the door, Shay a half-step behind.  "Right now it's all small crystals instead of the huge one.  How long will it take for the Balmera to make another one like that?"

Shay pressed her hand to the wall, making a pathway for them.  Tilting her head, she considered.  "A long time. Maybe ten planetary cycles?"

"Ten years?"  Shiro's head whipped toward her.  "But that one was made so quickly."

"The Balmera was flush with energy," Shay replied.  "Princess Allura's healing sped the process remarkably."

Shiro nodded, eyes still wide.  "No kidding.  I hadn't realized- I knew she kept the Balmera from dying and caused crystal growth, but ten years?  Wow."

"Her powers are extraordinary," Shay agreed.  

They stepped into the cavern and to the same crystal Shay had directed Shiro to the first time.  He sat down in front of his, legs crossed and palms flat, but didn't focus yet.  

Instead, Shiro found himself looking at his bare arms.  For the first time in days, he wished he was in his armor so he didn't have to see them.

Allura could heal the Balmera.  There would be scars, yes, but they only scratched the surface.

Shiro's wounds went much deeper.

When he stayed silent, Shay settled down next to him.  "You are upset," she noted gently.  "May I help?"

Offering a smile, Shiro shook his head.  "I don't think so.  I was just thinking maybe I should have asked Allura for the same help, once she was feeling better."

Shay folded her knees up to her chest, eyes on Shiro's arms.  "You were hurt."

Slowly, Shiro nodded. "Yes.  The Galra captured me and my crew.  The one before I was part of Voltron.  For a year, I- well, I don't know everything I did.  My memories of that time are hazy at best."

There was a heavy warmth against his side as Shay leaned against him.  "I understand," she murmured, voice quiet.  "I know what it's like."

"You do," Shiro agreed.  "You were chained too.  I'm sorry you went through that."

Shay nodded.  Her tail shifted over the rock, thumping reassuringly against Shiro's hip.  "That is what happened to you arm, correct?"

Closing his eyes, Shiro didn't reply.  He didn't need to.

"That I do not understand. But I know someone who does.  Someone I care for very much, who knows what it's like to have their body controlled and changed and mined for what they are."

Shiro's fingers curled against the crystal, nails scraping along the smooth surface.  "Shay."

"That someone is scarred, but they are powerful, and they are gentle, and they are giving.  They have helped to contribute in freeing so many from the Galra."  Shay took a deep breath.  "Shiro, please face me."

Slowly, Shiro pulled his palm away.  He tilted his chest and forced his eyes open, hoping his eyes weren't red.

Shay reached out and rested her palm on Shiro's chest.  It spanned nearly the width of him, sturdy and solid.  "I may not be Altean, but I can speak with these beings.  And you do not need the Princess's powers, I do not believe.  You are not dying.  You are healing, all on your own.  You are doing wonderfully."

Trembling, Shiro reached up and rested his hand over Shay's.  "I- I don't..."  He took a deep breath.  "My scars go deeper than the Balmera's, I think.  Too deep to heal from."

"I disagree," Shay told him, quiet but calm.  Without any doubt.  "I know you.  I have communed with you, in different ways than with the Balmera, but powerful all the same.  You are healing.  You are growing.  You will survive."

Slowly, Shiro's expression crumpled.  He curled in on himself, still not crying, but bowed under the weight of everything in him.  Of relief, of doubt, of pain.

Of love.

"Thank you."

Shay didn't reply, but her presence was warm and soothing.

It took a long time for Shiro to unwind himself and try to commune with the Balmera again.  But this time, he gave himself to the meditation, reaching out for a long time.  There was never anything back, no hint he was managing to reach the creature, but Shiro felt better for trying.  If nothing else, it was a chance to slow down and rest.

When he opened his eyes again, Shay had left.  He hadn't expected her to sit around and wait.

Shiro missed her, even if he'd just spoken with her.

Sighing, he pressed his forehead to the crystal.  "Is she hard for you to handle too?"

There was no response, but Shiro liked to think the Balmera agreed.

***

The sound of footsteps caught Shiro's attention.  He looked up and smiled at Shay.  "Hey."

"Hello," Shay greeted, smiling down at him.  "It was not my intention, but regular communing has made you much easier to track down."

Shiro laughed.  "It's a happy side effect.  Did you need something?"

Nodding, Shay offered her hand.  Shiro took it and stood, brushing off his pants.  "Need is not the correct word," she replied carefully.

Huh.  Interesting response.  "Well, I'm happy to speak with you, even if it's just an idle desire."

Shay offered a smile, though it was more nervous than usual.  "Thank you.  I- I have been practicing with the flight console, like you suggested.  And I think... I think I am as prepared as I am able to be."

Perking, Shiro's smile brightened.  "You want to try?"

"I would like to try, yes.  With you there if something goes wrong."

"Yes!"  Shiro grabbed Shay's hand, squeezing it tightly. "That's fantastic!  Of course I'll help you on your first flight.  Did you want to go now?"

Shay laughed, relaxing at Shiro's enthusiasm.  "If you are finished, now would be fine."

Immediately, Shiro turned tail and started back the way Shay came.  "Absolutely!  We're not waiting on your first flight, are you kidding?  This is going to be amazing!"

It took a few steps for Shay to catch her balance and match Shiro's pace, but soon they were practically running up the tunnel to the hangar.  Shiro realized he was still gripping Shay's hand, but he didn't really want to let go.  She didn't seem to mind, so instead he shifted, sliding his fingers between hers as best she could.

Maybe it was a little sad, but Shiro would take these moments where he could.  His affection for her would stay quiet and personal.  There was no need to share it and make things awkward between them.  Shay had turned down Hunk, who was one of the sweetest, kindest people Shiro knew.  He didn't have a chance in that fight to begin with.

That was fine.  Shiro didn't expect or need his affections returned.  This time they had together was more than enough.

Opening the hatch, Shiro piled into the cockpit and finally let go of Shay's hand.  "Okay, here we go.  You've got this.  Go ahead and start."

Shay's eyes went wide.  She looked between the screen and Shiro, her fingers curling up in trepidation.  "Um."

"Take your time," Shiro assured, voice gentling.  He leaned back against the wall of the cockpit.  "I promise, you're more than ready for this.  And if anything goes wrong, I'm right here to help."

Shay gave a tiny nod, then finally stepped over to the console.  She activated the ship with practiced taps, until it hummed and jolted.  Then she paused again, hand hovering a couple of inches above the screen.  

After a couple of minutes, she still hadn't moved.

Shiro stepped over and rested his hand on her arm.  "You alright?"

"I do not know," she replied quietly.  "I still do not know- this is not where I am meant to be.  I am- I was..."  Shay trailed off and raised a hand to her jaw, tracing absently.

Shiro remembered when they'd found her deep in the Balmera, chained and muzzled.  Rage boiled in him, remembered and renewed by his affections.

But more than that, Shiro understood.  He knew what it was like to doubt his own abilities because of how someone had controlled him.

Head tilted, Shiro considered.  "Is this where you want to be?"

Shay nodded furiously, eyes wide.  "Yes.  I want to see more.  I want to fly through the sky like you do."

"Then this is where you're meant to be," Shiro told her simply, squeezing her forearm.  "Shay, you helped fight the Galra off your planet.  You think this can stop you?"

Slowly, her expression cleared.  "No, I do not," she replied.  With that, she finally tapped on the screen.

The plane lifted.

Shay's breath caught again, and her hands shook slightly as she took hold of the controls.  The plane jolted slightly, but held in the air.

Gently, tentatively, she pushed forward.  They floated through the room like someone was gently blowing the back of the craft.

"You've got it," Shiro murmured, still leaning against her side.  "Ready to open the hangar doors?"

Shay hesitated, her breath shaking.  "I think I am, yes."

At other tap, the sky opened up to them.

And Shay flew.

It wasn't with Shiro's speed or confidence, but Shay stayed steady despite her obvious nerves.  Within moments, they were in the open air, the sun high and the crystals shining below.

"I am flying," Shay murmured, awed. "I am in the sky.  I did that!"

Shiro beamed at her. "You did!  You're flying!"

"I am  _ flying!"  _ Shay reached out and wrapped one arm around Shiro's shoulders, near crushing him to her chest.  "You taught me to fly!  Thank you, Shiro, this is wonderful."

Looking up at her sheer joy, Shiro smiled back, utterly enamored.  "You're wonderful."

Shay paused and looked down at him.  "I- what?"

Their faces were so close, barely a few inches apart.  She was still beaming, if slightly less than before from confusion.  Those pure yellow eyes should have been too much like the Galra, but Shiro didn't see them that way.  They were like the pure sunshine of the surface of the Balmera, bright and gentle.

Before Shiro realized what he was doing, he'd leaned up and pressed a kiss to her cheek.  The texture was smooth and solid, like polished marble, but warm.

Then Shiro came back to himself and pulled away.  "I'm so sorry!  I didn't- here, let me-" he tried to step away, but Shay's arm effortlessly kept him close.

Despite everything that had happened to him, Shiro didn't find that strength unappealing.

"That..."  Shay's eyes flickered back to the screen, making sure they were still on course, and then back to Shiro's face.  "That is a sign of romantic affection, yes?"

Cheeks burning, Shiro gave a small, reluctant nod.  "Yes.  It is."

"Good."

Shay kissed him back.  Her lips pressed to Shiro's cheek, then caught the very edges of his mouth. Near instinctively, he turned into it, turning it into a proper kiss.

It didn't last long, barely more than a brush.  But when Shiro pulled away, his heart was pounding and he felt breathless.  "Screen," he managed.  "You should watch the screen."

"Yes," she replied, her head snapping back forward.  But her eyes turned to him again.  "But when we land, I wish to do that again."

Shiro smiled giddily.  "I would too.  You- you really...?"

"I really what?"  Shay changed the coordinates, turning them back the direction they came.  

"Like... romantic... with me."

Shay paused, then let out a surprised burst of laughter.  "I believe this is the most flustered I have ever heard you.  This includes when fighting Haggar's monsters."  She smiled, almost shy.  "Yes.  I romance with you."

"Oh."  Shiro continued to smile.  "That's- that's good.  Thank you."

Laughing again, Shay shook her head.  "You are welcome.  You are also strange."

"You're not the first to think so," Shiro told her.  "You want to keep flying, or are you heading back in?"

Shay tilted her head.  "There will be other times to fly," she said.  "Right now, I have other activities in mind."

Cheeks burning again, Shiro ducked his head to hide his dopey smile.  "Like what?"

"Those face touches.  What are they called?"

"Kisses."

"Kisses will do to start.  And there are other ways of showing affection I'd like to share with you."  Shay brought them in through the hangar easily, barely seeming to notice her own skill in her excitement.

Once they landed, Shiro took her hand again.  "I do love learning new things."

Shay grinned.  "Then I believe a demonstration would be best."

Shiro was still laughing as she pulled him in closer.

***

It turned out to be pretty difficult to meditate when Shiro couldn't stop grinning.

By now, Shiro had given up pressing his hands to the crystal. Instead he leaned back against it as he tried to relax. That was more difficult than usual. It was hard to concentrate on reaching out to the Balmera when Shiro's mind was so stuck on Shay.

The past several days had been a giddy blur. Shiro still dedicated a significant portion of his time to broadcasting signals out, but the burden of waiting and separation hadn't been so bad. Not when he had Shay to spend time with.

Shiro had never been one for dating. There had been someone here and there, mostly as a teenager, but it was hard to find the time. At the Garrison he'd been totally focused on polishing himself into a shining example of a student, and then on training for Kerberos. After that, well, there hadn't been much opportunity.

So these early flushes of young romance were extra powerful. Shiro hadn't devolved into full teenage mush, but it was a near thing. They were near attached to the hip, smiling and touching often, trading affectionate gestures whenever they had a spare, private moment.

Frankly, they were a little disgusting. At least, Rax thought so. Loudly. And often.

It didn't heal over the wound of being so far from his team, but it was a comfort and warmth all its own.

"Okay," Shiro murmured, leaning his head back and thumping it against the crystal. "Enough. Focus."

Or he could just go up and find Shay, and-

Nope, no. Meditating. Calm. It was good for him. And Shiro had spent plenty of time with Shay recently. Moments alone were good. Most of his personal time was focused on communication or helping with tech reclamation around the Balmera. This was one of his few moments of pure downtime, and he was going to take it.

That in mind, Shiro took a deep breath and closed his eyes again. He reluctantly pushed away his thoughts of Shay and settled into place. Then he reached out.

At first, it was like it always was - steady, gentle calm.

But then, Shiro's reach caught something. He only had time for a moment of confusion before he was grabbed and pulled in. 

Shiro jolted and opened his eyes.

It wasn't the huge crystal room he saw, but purple and stars.

This was-

Something huge and familiar rumbled through him.

The lion. The Black Lion. 

As if thinking the name cleared his vision, the lion suddenly towered over him. They were crouched, their huge head on level with the floor. Shiro could reach out and touch. The moment he did, another rumble rippled through him like a purr.

"Hi," he murmured, barely more than breath. "You- yeah. I missed you too."

"Shiro?"

The name stopped his heart.

Whirling in place, Shiro came face to face with Keith. A purple tinted version, armor clad and rough-looking, but Keith all the same.

"Keith." Shiro reached out, hand trembling.

In a second, Keith barreled into him, grabbing his hand and using that to tug Shiro even closer. "You- where is this? Is this real? Are you real? Are you alive? What happened to your hair?"

"Woah, woah! Give me a chance to answer!" Shiro laughed, shaky but loud. He tightened his grip on Keith, nearly crushing them together. "I'm so glad to see you. You have no idea." He took a deep breath, pressing his face into Keith's helmet. It was uncomfortable, but Shiro did not care.

"I'm glad to see you, too," Keith replied, his voice rough. It was hard to tell when neither of them were exactly solid, but it felt like he was trembling.

Shiro took a deep breath. "Okay, um. This is the astral plane. I told you guys about it. With the Zarkon fight, remember? I'm real, and I'm alive. I don't know about the hair, you'll have to ask Allura and Coran. I'm on the Balmera, with Shay."

Pulling away, Keith gripped Shiro's arms hard. "Why? How? We looked everywhere for you, Shiro. I- we were so worried, and-"

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry. I promise I didn't mean to. I'm still not sure what happened. One second we were defeating Zarkon, and the next I woke up on the Balmera." He shrugged. "I tried to contact you, but you're too far. The little communicators aren't strong enough."

Keith took a deep breath. "All this time, you were- dammit, we could have come and got you instead of- instead of everything." 

"I'm sorry."  Shiro pulled Keith in for another fierce hug.  "I'm so, so sorry.  But now you know!  You can come get me.  I'll explain everything I can then, alright?"

Nodding against Shiro's shoulders, Keith held on just as tightly.  "I'm glad you're okay."

"I'm glad you are too.  And look at you!  Piloting Black!"

"I didn't want to," Keith told him, voice dark.  "I hate- You're the Black Paladin.  I never wanted this.  I wanted to keep looking for you, but-"  His fingers dug into Shiro's back with near painful force.

Woah, okay.  "Well, it's a good thing you did.  I don't know when you guys would have ended up close enough to call.  It could have been ages."

Keith took a deep breath.  "I guess," he managed.  "But we'll get you.  I'll tell Allura and we'll come get you right away."

"Sounds like a plan," Shiro murmured.  "I missed you guys."

"We missed you too."  Keith squeezed hard one more time, then backed up.  "I need to go.  I need to tell them."

It was painful to step away, but Shiro managed.  "Yeah.  I'll see you soon, Keith."

"Very.  And this time, no more leaving."

With that, Keith was gone.  There was another rumbling purr, and then Black pulled away too.

Then Shiro was back in the Balmera.

Immediately, he scrambled to his feet and bolted down the hallway, heart pounding in his chest.

It wasn't until he was just outside Shay's quarters that he paused.

Shiro's team was coming for him.  He was going home.

But what did that mean for them?

***

"That is wonderful!"  Shay pulled Shiro in for a hug, crushing just from the solid weight of her.  "I am so happy for you!  I told you that communing with the Balmera would be good for you."

Shiro grinned back, nodding.  "You did.  But, really, it was communing with the Black Lion, so I don't know that it counts."  Shay actually pouted at that, and Shiro laughed.  "Okay, okay!  It's all because of you.  You were right, as you usually are."

Ducking her head, Shay gave a pleased chuckle.  "You use such kind words.  I believe you wish to flatter me."

"It's not flattery when it's the truth." Shiro smiled softly at her.

Shay stepped back, but her hands still rested gently on Shiro's waist.  "I will be pleased to see you go back to them. But I will be sad to be without you again."

Swallowing hard, Shiro reached up and cupped either side of her jaw.  "You don't have to," he offered gently.  "You can come with me."

Eyes wide, Shay shook her head.  "I could not."

"Of course you could. You're brave, and you're a good pilot, now.  We could always use those skills." Shiro bit his bottom lip.  "We would love to have you aboard.  I would."

Shay shook her head harder.  "That is not my place.  I belong here."

"No," Shiro replied firmly.  "We discussed this.  You belong exactly where you want to belong, and anything that says otherwise will answer to me."

Swallowing hard, Shay closed her eyes.  "Maybe.  But, Shiro, the Balmera is my home.  It is where my family is.  It is the life I have known."

Slowly, Shiro's shoulders slumped.  "I understand."  It was a lot to ask Shay to give up her life.  Ridiculous, even.  "You're right.  You belong where you want to belong.  But that can be here, too, if that's where you wish to be."

"There is too much right now," Shay replied gently.  "And I am not yet comfortable as a pilot.  I believe I can be, but I have only flown twice.  That is not something I wish to give up my world for."

Shiro nodded again.  "You're right.  But you have the option.  You'll always have the option."  He swallowed hard.  "You know I can't stay, right?  Maybe if it weren't for everything I would, but-" But he had a team who loved him.  He had the Black Lion, Allura and Coran, the castle.

Shiro had a universe that needed Voltron.

Nodding, Shay pressed their foreheads together, the Balmeran equivalent of a caress.  "I do know this, yes.  I would not ask it of you."

"So that's it?" Shiro asked.  "We end it here?"

Shay considered, her eyes roaming over Shiro's face.  "I think we separate, yes.  But I do not think that is it.  After all, we need a better communication unit anyway, do we not?  In case we need Voltron's assistance?"

Slowly, Shiro smiled.  "You do.  And if we used that to talk more often, I don't think anyone would object."

"Exactly."  Shay pressed their lips together, gentle and chaste.  "This is goodbye.  But it is not the end.  Not if we don't wish it to be."

"I don't," Shiro replied.  "We can try."  A long-distance relationship.  Extremely long-distance.

But people made that work.  The circumstances were strange, but so was everything in Shiro's life.  What else was knew?

"Then we will try.  And maybe someday things will change.  But for now, this is enough."

Shiro kissed her back, then butted their noses together.  "For now."

For now they could manage.

And maybe someday soon, Shay would feel ready to step off the Balmera and into something larger.

If and when that day came, Shiro would be there.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yuuuup.
> 
> For the curious: Basically Shiro just got caught in the Astral Plane and then flung out at the easiest target to hit that was also a known, safe place. A Balmera practically singing with Altean energy made for a really excellent target. But it's not especially narratively important so I didn't bother to stop the reunion dead in it's tracks to get that explained.
> 
> Also I wanted to an excuse to make Shiro the white haired anime boy we all know he is in his heart. Leave me be.


End file.
